Spiritual Water and Brokenness

Cistern: How Spiritual Brokenness Begets Transformation

I was recently asked to write down a dream I once had:

 I dreamed that I was a broken cistern. What is that? Well, it was like a well, but without a bottom leading to a water source, rather, it was meant to catch rainfall...Imagine a cistern that looks like a well, but without any depth. Just a ring of stone capable of holding water with a stone or cement bottom.  Imagine this particular cistern is broken though, like its been ripped apart to access the water by animals and people. 

The similarity here is that the tree behind it is like the cistern in my dream. In my dream, there was an olive tree behind and next to the cistern, benefitting from its proximity to the water inside. It was a desert area, arid and dry. 

The next thing that happened was an ape man with a battle axe came and chopped one last hole into the cistern to get a drink, ruining it completely and negating its ability to hold water. 

My last thought was: “I’m going to die.” But then my vision panned to the tree growing behind it and I realized, now I’m the tree. 

I think the whole point of this dream was simple: Life has broken us, but the point of a cistern is not solely to store water but to store it so other creatures can use it. The brokenness was a spiritual and emotional brokenness, and the tree would grow as a result of the brokenness. Fortunately, a well or cistern can be repaired with the right tools. But a tree or person will die without enough water. 

A person crazy enough to break a cistern when all they needed to do was reach the water…well, that is why it was an ape man. A primal man, one not accustomed to thinking about the results or implications of his actions. Or, someone who no longer needed the function of the cistern and wanted the water for himself. Like the broken bowl in my china cabinet. (See Broken and Consecrated) I wonder how much of the pain people go through in life is because of the mistakes of others. Many of them probably are and many more are growing pains. Food for thought!

Winter 2025

Cistern: Part II- A Living Tree

I’ve had a hard week on multiple fronts of my life. And its given me some ideas. 

1. If I am not the cistern but the tree…maybe that represents the transformation that Jesus can do in a life when a person is willingly letting Him work. Like, looking for that way to work with God instead of just bumping along on and into anything and everything on the way. 

2. When I think about it, do we go through our lives gradually being broken until we realize that nothing can change the fact that we are broken and need fixing?

3. I’ve been through multiple times where I definitely endured a pattern of change. I remember a professor of mine called it “stretching the mind.” And, the process is difficult and it hurts. If it didn’t hurt, then we wouldn’t be growing. 

4. There are times where I say: “I’m so tired of growing! I just want to stop.”

5. In reference to this…I’ve decided that my Saturdays are not for working, but for resting. I still clean and cook, etc. Yes, but it's called taking care of myself and having time for myself. After a long week, when I work, I always try to avoid working on Saturdays and end up more tired than I was in the first place. If God rested on the Sabbath, then I need a Saturday to myself too. That being said: its Sunday. I need to get working. 

Autumn 2025

Cistern: Spiritual Brokenness and Living Water

How Living Water is Spread through Community

I have been working on my website lately! I have finally gotten to a point in my life where I can do what I both want and need to do because I have enough time right now! I am not saying that its perfect. I am not saying that I don't ever get stressed or that it will happen forever. But...right now things are going pretty well.

I have been thinking about this topic of Spiritual Brokenness, like being a broken cistern that can no longer hold water...and, I am understanding it differently.

Perhaps I make sense of what the Bible says literally, as well as metaphorically. I am not going to quote it directly, but John 4:13-15 clearly states that those people who drink Jesus' living water will turn into a spring of Living Water welling up into eternal life. I don't think that Jesus intended us to just have a regular well...maybe he wanted a full-on gushing downpour-like stream of water flowing out. In which case...my little picture of a well up above is probably not entirely accurate. For more than one reason, this picture isn't accurate because the parched desert around it would soon become a river and a garden.... For this reason, I have a picture to the side...

Broken Cistern Spilling Water

Living Tree: Life and Needing Spiritual Water

Spiritual Brokenness and Living Water Through Community

The Holidays 2025

My Making Sense of Grace

I have been having one of those days where my mind is working double-time. Its great, but I have to express it because otherwise it is too much for my mind to handle, so here I am writing!

What is Grace? I'd better start with that: unmerited favor. I remember this one time as a kid, somebody stole ice cream or got into trouble. Whatever, I don't remember at the moment. Our sermon earlier that Sunday was on grace and how it was unmerited favor. My parents accidentally filled a bowl of ice cream that was "extra." Instead of putting it back into the container, the ice cream was given to the child. And, we were told okay, so this is what grace is: unmerited favor. You didn't deserve ice cream, but you got it. A guilt trip and a bowl of ice cream that you never forgot! Yep, I'm still digesting that!

Growing up, I was confused by all the different religions, the rules, the differences. Unlike a lot of kids, I was given details about some differences between what we believed and they did. Today, my mind did a download of all of this and processed it. Almost 40 years of information and I feel like I finally understand.

Is it from God? Well, let me say that if I am saying its from God, probably not because all these people lately who have been posting online about how God says this and that don't know the Bible. They are all phonies and I know they are because they are openly just claiming that God told them. Sorry, but all these people on Tiktok who are claiming to be from God are phonies. So, this is just my take...not going to claim its from God or anything, just my digestion of what I've noticed.

Here's what I have decided for myself, could be different for others but this is mine: I see the Nike symbol or the Adidas symbol we are willing to pay for clothes so we won't get made fun of as kids in school today. I know the clothes from Walmart pretty much look the same but don't have all the Logos. They may also be made in the same sweatshop as everybody else's and yet, the person who bought those clothes probably paid much more for it...so who's foolish now? Somehow, I think the person with the plain clothes got a better deal!

And nowadays, kids are so snooty they make fun anyways. Hey kiddos, if you know what clothes are at Walmart and look like the real thing, you are shopping at Walmart too! Stop making fun!

What I realized tonight is this: when you buy the clothes with the symbol that took a fraction of a second for some machine being run by slaves in China or Laos or some other place so you could pay double for it, you just paid the temple! Different place and time, same concept!

The point of that fish that Jesus had the man catch and take a coin from its mouth so they could pay the temple and not offend the guy...the point was that they not offend someone. Nowadays, we are just flipping the script and marketing it differently. Somebody start making their own jeans or putting your own designs on it. The clothes today are the worst! In fact, they are downright ugly much of the time. Make something beautiful worth competing for! I'm just saying: "Make it make sense!"

When someone becomes that fountain of grace....guess what? They are taking something from you. If they are taking unmerited favor from you...someone is taking something that is yours and making it their own.

Guess what, its not always a bowl of ice cream! Frankly, its the opposite!

Jesus paid a lot more for us than we know and unless we pay the ultimate price, we may never have a clue!